Updated: Nov 12
Hey y’all so between the election soap opera and the Full Moon Eclipse situation, I’m pretty sure all of us are feeling or have felt the need to release some stress and tension, amirite? Nothing winds you up more than to have politicians constantly lying in your face and watching people descend into chaos on every social media platform. A release is deeply needed, and what better way to release the tension than with some good old fashioned heated fellowship? Right, so at this point, I’m going to need my relatives to go ahead and sit this one out and we’ll pick y’all back up at the next blog post, okay? Watch your step and grab a snack on your way out. ‘Cause it’s about to get filthy in here and I’m not trying to discuss none of this over my greens and mac n cheese in the next few weeks, k thanks!
Now that that’s sorted… So I’ve always been a very open person sexually even before my first foray into heated fellowship. I’ve always seen sex as a creative expression, a way to become closer to god, it’s a form of meditation in a way. The sexual experience is a way to be so into our bodies and the sensations that ignite and align all of our senses, that you leave it and go somewhere greater, higher. It’s a spiritual experience to me. Now, how I arrived at this particular understanding of sex without a talk or having had sex, as adult looking back, is wild to me. However, it also explains a great deal about my personality. I like to think I’m divinely slutty.
I’ve always exuded an innate sensuality, it’s no surprise I ended up becoming a burlesque performer, but that’s a story for another day. I remember hanging out watching trash tv with my home girl, and she stopped everything and asked me what I was thinking about because she could feel the sexual energy radiating off of me, and it was starting to affect her. Meanwhile, your good sis was just trying to decide if Wing Stop or Chipotle was going to be the next stop after her place; we laughed about that for a long time. So, yeah, that’s my natural state, your good bitch is cut from a kinky ass cloth.
Slutty shit was my normal, however after pregnancy I had this strange crisis of identity and nothing felt normal. I’m sure a lot of women experience this, the questions you ask yourself in the quest to restore normalcy. It’s challenging, like, how do you get back to your regularly scheduled happy heaux shit when your body looks and feels like a fucking stranger? Is she still turned on by the same shit? Does her body still respond to sex the same way? Your brain changes so much during and after pregnancy, and you have to really explore where you stand, well, I did anyway. My hyperemesis gravidarum was so bad that I didn’t want my wife to touch me for the first 7 months, and then when I finally felt that insatiable itch and craved a good ole fashioned spinal rearrangement, a soul deep demolition, I was so big she was afraid she was going to hurt me. It was weird as shit and, for two people who have no limits with and feel completely safe with each other, we looked like awkward teenagers trying to fuck for the first time.
I’m sure the PPD didn’t help in that department either, but children I’m here today to testify that troubles don’t last always, amen?! When I tell you I feel like my old self on steroids? Sheesh! Demon time ain’t demonic over here, feel me? It feels like it took forever, but I’m back to feeling like the divine sexually liberated being I always have been. Hell, I even retook the Kink Test scoring kinkier now than I was before, and we give ALL the thanks, amen?!
I play all day, but what really helped me tap back into the totality of me, is having the proper support. Feeling safe enough to go through the motions while not having the pressure on me to consider the needs of my partner was so helpful, and unfortunately, isn’t the case for so many women. I’ve heard from mothers who see sex as nothing more than a chore to be performed, that may or may not be pleasurable for them. I never wanted that for myself and I empathize deeply for the women who were/are in that reality, because sex with a loving supportive partner is so healing. There’s so much pressure on women to be perfect mothers according to what society deems as perfect and being sexually available to your partner, even when you feel like a shell of yourself, seems to be up there in societal expectations.
So ladies, if you take anything away from today’s clearly unhinged post, know that whether you are throwing that muhfucka back on the sink on the regular basis, beginning to get your sexy back, or struggling to feel sexy and confident as you walk through the world, know that you’re worthy and valuable and even if you don’t feel like it today, you are still somebody’s fine ass mama! Don’t let anyone make demands on your body or your process take it one day at a time, and eventually, just like I did, you’ll see and love yourself again.
Anyway, enjoy your Veterans Day weekend! Go buy a veteran some coffee, and thank them for their service. Stay hydrated, remember to breathe, and I wish you all safe and enthusiastically consensual sex until we meet again! 🙃
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Also, make sure you’re up to date on my novella ‘Situationships & Sippy Cups’. It is available on Kindle Vella in the Amazon store, check it out!!!