Did y’all miss me?! I know it’s been FUCKING forever since I’ve written anything. I’ve been making mental notes about different things I wanted to talk to you guys about regarding our move from Hawaii to Georgia. However, I also knew this shit was going to stress me out and I didn’t want every damn post to be about my war on clutter or my hatred of boxes and bins. My anxiety wouldn’t have been able to handle that, and I fucks with y’all heavy for understanding. As soon as I got settled in Georgia and committed to living that involuntarily minimalist life until our HHG (household goods) arrive, SCOTUS decided that is was the perfect time to show her raggedy ass by trying to moonwalk us back to the fucking 1600s.
I’ve had so much, hell, too much to opine about since I’ve been gone, but can we talk about this cluster fuck of conundrums that we’ve been living in lately. Roe v. Wade being overturned was a good ole wake up call for sooo many as to what’s been going on in this fuck nugget of a country. We’ll get back to that in a second, promise. Our government straight up said fuck the nation as a whole, no one’s equal unless you can afford to live or travel to wherever you want to get whatever you need. Meanwhile, they’re out here sniffing that premium cocaina off of Trump’s sac and getting off on making living anywhere comfortably a nightmare for those who can’t afford to rub elbows with the likes of the Bezos’ of the world. Then you have these wannabe ‘wolf of wall street’ hedge fund muhfuckas obliterating the single-family housing market, then trying to convince us that people really aren't buying houses like that anymore. Oh y'all must think we're stupid, 'cause what?
Then to top it all off as if that wasn't enough ICE has been given free rein to run up in any house within 100 miles of the border… 100 FUCKING MILES?! Corrupt-ass, racists-ass, sex-trafficking ringleader-ass ICE, bro?! As if they weren’t already a goddamn fucking problem. They are nowhere near the definition of trustworthy LEOs, bruh… and y’all gave these mofos the green light to run up in houses, my guy?! I am flabbergasted, gobsmacked, flummoxed, bitch!
There’s plenty to be pissed off about or devastated by so I don’t need to do a complete rundown for y’all to know Lemony Snicket gave Count Olaf a reverse uno card and set that bitch loose upon us. We’ve clearly been orphaned and experiencing a series of unfortunate events and there ain’t that much disassociation in the MF’n world to carry us through.
Anyway, so yeah it’s rough out here, but also the witches been telling the girlies since December shit was gonna be gnarly this year and we collectively said “fuck that shit y’all talking” now look at us. I’m just kidding, honestly, from what I’ve seen it seems like while we’re obviously concerned we haven’t lost our sense of humor ‘cause the Black social media sphere has been giving what’s needed with all the pressure. And I’ll go so far as to say the global majority has been getting theirs, like, have y’all been on Indigenous socials? They never let up and it’s glorious! I say that to say we’re still out here finding absolute joy in the mundane. That gives me hope.
Now, jumping back a bit… Umm, for my white girlies, my cloud babies, my Ally Annies, where ya been babes? It really feels like y'all showed up late to the party and asked us where we’ve been, then somehow blamed some of us for why you got lost, and accused the rest of us of busting up the function… Meanwhile, we BIPOC partygoers have established a solid vibe and rapport with the DJ, twerking and fucking shit up and here y’all come fucking up the vibe complaining about being bored. The girls have been rightfully dragging y'all by the spray tan for talking about taking to the streets in your ‘Handmaid’s Tale’ best and living out your fictional wet dreams. News flash this ain't a book sweeties, y'all are going to get yourselves hurt or worse. Let's just take that right on down, shall we? See, I can only speak for me when I say that if you're hellbent on making yourself a target, I will not be using my body to shield your stupidity. Got me? Good.
Anywho, I say all that to say that I've missed y'all and, as you can see, I'm still on my same ole bullshit! I can promise you that we're going to be back to weekly posts Thursdays or Fridays, and I'm working on more chapters of 'Situationships and Sippy Cups' so make sure you head on over to Kindle Vella and get caught up. I'm about to be aggy AF, okay?! Just jokes, well, maybe… kinda. Hell, I don't know! What I do know is that I'm ready to do my part to help make life a little better for everyone through my fuckery, now that I have the capacity for shenanigans again. I love y'all, now go out there shake some ass, piss off the establishment, and stay hydrated 'cause it's hot as fuck outside y’all! 🙃
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Also, make sure you’re up to date on my novella ‘Situationships & Sippy Cups’. It is available on Kindle Vella in the Amazon store, check it out!!! https://www.amazon.com/kindle-vella/story/B09TZ1BXTB