Toddler Thoughts & Prayers
Toddlers… Fucking Toddlers, amirite?! My pandemic baby is now a full-blown toddler and shit has been off the fucking rails. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned that before in a past blog but sweet Jesus, it rings eternal. Now, I don’t subscribe to the whole “terrible twos” thing, I personally don’t see it as terrible, but I also completely fucking get why it exists. However, do I see the "terrible twos" as the constant reminder to never neglect my mental health that it is, abso-fucking-lutely. These past couple of weeks have shown me that the phrase “dig deep” isn’t a once in a while line of encouragement, it’s an every day mantra, a religious practice in not losing your shit.
Now, to be fair my baby had a bad virus for almost three weeks and she just started feeling better, so the grumpiness I fully understood. But while she was sick and shut-in, she also moseyed into full blown toddlerdom. I’m talking throwing Karen-level tantrums, climbing everything like she’s a goddam squirrel, and telling caution suck her dirty diapers and hold her juice while she full sends it off the back of the couch; I nearly had a stroke! We are not okay. I joke, I joke, I actually find toddlerhood incredibly fascinating. Now that’s not to say that I’m not dog fucking tired and slowly morphing my blood into coffee most days, because I certainly am.
Toddlers are amazing to me because it’s the only time, to me, that you get to witness the purest expression of human emotions. They don’t have words for a lot of the bigger feelings so you get to see adorable rage and pure joy, and sweet sadness and all points in between. My daughter is super independent while also being incredibly snuggly, and that’s on a chart heavy with water placements. Watching where her need for independence and her desire to be held and snuggled intersect is both comical and patience-testing.
People shit on toddlers all the time and I absolutely get it, and honestly I support it, whatever helps you not commit the violence is fine with me. Toddler are brutally honest little tyrants that haven’t yet grasped the basics of empathy, they're feral, and utterly unhinged to the fucking core. Trust me, I get it! However, toddlerhood is also a lot of fun, if you let it be. I get to allow myself to do so many things for my own inner child that my adult mind sometimes struggles to allow space for. Now, I’m sure you can already tell from reading my blogs that I’m childish as fuck so those enriching activities that she needs, also speaks to my soul in a way that makes me gleeful. And the way the world is just continuing to overachieve in the Trash Olympics, we welcome a bit of glee, amen?!
Now, I don’t want to be one of those, “I get to see life through the eyes of a child and that’s what makes it all worth it” kind of people. I mean, yeah, it’s that too, but it’s more-so watching them figure out what the world is. I don’t want to see exactly what she sees and how she sees it, I already have my version of the world. I do enjoy watching her discover and form her view of it, though, that’s super cool. That doesn’t make it worth it alone, but the idea that this rough period will result in her being a happy well adjusted person as she continues to make her way through the world, does. Okay so maybe it’s all the same thing, but it’s what helps me to cope a little bit better knowing she becoming her own person.
One day it’ll be worth it, even if today I struggle with keeping myself regulated and quelling the urge to yeet my tiny human into the exosphere like a goddamn satellite. Some days are better than others, and it’s nowhere near a perfect science with toddling humans. However, it’s a part of grand adventure that leaves you with fun embarrassing stories to tell in the future and a reason to keep wine in stock… and that’s enough for me.
Anywho, y'all have a good weekend. Be cute, be slutty, take lots of pics of your costumes, tag #recklessmouthmama so I can see them and live vicariously through you, and if you're parenting toddlers right now know that you’re doing great. 🙃
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Also, make sure you’re up to date on my novella ‘Situationships & Sippy Cups’. It is available on Kindle Vella in the Amazon store, check it out!!!