“If vulnerability were more commonplace, then being human wouldn’t be seen as an act of bravery.” At least I think so anyway…
That’s a thought I had, and it feels like I may have co-opted that from someone else but it’s something that’s been on my mind. Why is it that we’re so afraid to be vulnerable? People only shame vulnerability because they feel like it’s going to become a cathartic experience and they’ll have to explore feelings that they aren’t ready to address. That’s my thinking, anyway.
Lately, I’ve found myself embracing the vulnerability in the healing space where I want to just uncover all my bullshit, so I can heal my bullshit, so it’s no longer my bullshit. That’s something I feel like nobody mentions, once you start doing trauma/shadow work, you become addicted to the healing. You begin to crave that feeling of wholeness and you fully embrace the discomfort of vulnerability. It becomes this new religion that you find yourself proselytizing about. You want to share your experience to help others get to the point where they feel confident exploring the areas in their life where they might be a little stuck.
It’s super inspiring and it’s amazing, until it’s not. How so, you ask? Well, the short answer is, everyone isn’t interested in buying what you’re selling. I think for those of us that are comfortable with healing those stuck spaces, we’ve forgotten what the beginning was like because we’ve come out on the other side. I think a tricky hurdle in confronting trauma and doing healing work is that you gotta confront it, you gotta get vulnerable. We don’t know what some people are carrying and it’s kind of a dick-move to just tell someone to confront the same shit that would break us down like a fraction. It’s definitely levels to this shit.
I liken it to that part in the beginning of a person’s spiritual journey where they become a bit of an asshole. You know what I mean, that “I could’ve freed so many more slaves, if they knew they were slaves” shit. Or the “EyE JUsT wAnT tO wAKe uP thE ShEePLE” hotepy-ass shit. Newsflash, a spiritual awakening or journey, doesn’t automatically qualify you to lead or teach. I know some of y’all need to read that again.
It’s true though, some of us are trying to lead or teach but don’t fully understand vulnerability and how it affects our personal evolution. It takes a hell of a lot of vulnerability to uncover and heal trauma. So treating that like it’s easy because we’ve done it or began to, is irresponsible and applies so much unnecessary pressure on such a beautiful process.
And as a quick side-note everybody that claims they doing shadow work, ain’t doing shadow work. So don’t let ‘em gas you, ‘cause some of y’all are standing under the midday sun with shades on calling it shadow work… that ain’t it.
I really wish being vulnerable wasn’t an act of bravery or courage. I wish it was just what it was, a beautiful display of humans humaning, growing, evolving. However, I know things don’t function like that and anything deemed remotely feminine is a no-no in our He-man Woman Haters club-ass society. So for now, being vulnerable and embarking on a healing journey is an act of bravery. It’s a bold statement saying I love myself enough to work through the tough stuff so it’s no longer the tough stuff. It’s saying I value genuine connection, and in order to do that, I have to show up as my authentic self in order to meet others in their authenticity.
I wish more people would choose that bravery, but I fully understand why they don’t and I hate that it’s that way, but I’m still hopeful.
*cue Coach Carter end credits*