So, all my horoscopes and messages from my Spirit Guides have been loudly letting me know that I’m entering my villain era and so I’ve been trying to govern myself accordingly. There’s only one problem… I don’t know what the fuck that shit mean! Like, am I really supposed to be out here wreaking havoc in Gotham and fucking shit up for fun? While I’m not diametrically opposed to laughing at it, I’m also not the type to just knock over old people for shits and giggles, feel me? So, let’s talk about it.
So for a little reference I’ve always been the type to let shit slide, not completely because I was a pushover, though I was a people pleaser, it was more because I knew how I thought about things and that if I were to actually engage in something violent or confrontational it wouldn’t end well for the other person. I remember one time I almost got into a school fight when I was younger on Valentine's Day. We all got candy that day, I had Redhots, and I hated them, so I was throwing them haphazardly down the stairs we were lined up on, at no one in particular. Well unbeknownst to me, a boy in my class used them and launched them shits at the popular girls he liked waiting at the bottom of the stairs; however, because they were mine, they all thought it was me. So, one girl, the biggest one in the entire class, marches up the stairs ready to do battle with me and my mind immediately starts calculating. What you ask? Well, she was bigger than me in every way you can imagine, so her weight and gravity trying to fight on a steep 3-flight incline meant that all I had to do was make her lose her footing and gravity would've molly-wopped her into the afterlife. So, I made the conscious decision in that moment to let her punk me in front of the entire class. Was it embarrassing as fuck? Absolutely. Did I come up with the stupidest lie to try and save face? Sure, but I avoided jail time. So yeah, a lot of my earlier conflicts in my life I managed to deescalate so I could steer clear of the penal system, amen?! Especially since I was a cop’s daughter, not a good look, my guy. All that to say, that I'm no stranger to staring at the darker parts of me square in the eye, I think knowing what you're capable of is imperative to making clear choices in life. You know that whole feeding your two inner wolves thing.
However, when I think of the word villain, I think of someone who started off with all the good in them, and through life’s fuckery, they ended up developing a toxic world view that they've become hell-bent on forcing others see by any means necessary. I simply don’t have that kind of time. So, when I think of a villain in a more realistic and less comic book sense, a different version appears; the kind you notice once you’ve started to do some healing work. If thought this wasn’t going to end up being some kind of therapy session, do you even know me?
Anywho, thinking of real villains, my mind goes to the disregard for the feelings of others, right? Like a truly 'fuck-how-you-feel' ass human being. So, what would that look like for a former people-pleaser with a penchant for keeping the peace? It would look like boundary enforcing by any means necessary. Well, my Spirit Homies will be happy to know that I’ve gained some clarity, and I’ve learned that nothing casts you as the villain in someone's story faster than enforcing a boundary that wasn't previously there. Oooh honey, the way people take offense to you holding yourself to standard they can't shit all over. Hmph! You might as well have spit on their momma with the way people start acting funny over you wanting better for yourself.
Now, remember I said a few posts back boundaries aren't for other people, they're for you. They are lines you don’t cross because you love yourself enough to not be put in certain situations. I can't tell you the number of "solid" relationships I've seen crumble once I started setting boundaries, and not just setting them, but enforcing them and getting comfortable in doing so. It's hard especially with parental relationships or other close family relationships, but it's not impossible.
The more I think about it, sometimes telling yourself you're in your Villain Era gives you just enough fuck-it to show up fully for yourself. And sure, like me, you may also be a little demented, but are you not worth it? Are you not worth the elevation of self, the commitment to healing, and the personal empowerment that comes from putting yourself first? Some people will applaud you for showing up for yourself in this way and they will root for the villain in you, while others will set themselves up as your adversary because they directly benefitted from your lack of boundaries and thus take personal offense to you now having them. And to them we say a hearty and healthy, "fuck you and your feelings, bitch!"
So, here's to all the real ones out here stepping into our villain eras and loving ourselves deep enough to say fuck anybody who tries to make us feel less than for taking control of our emotional well-being, however you have to do that. I'd love to say that we can do this without causing absolute harm, but some people won't allow you to be anything other than the pure evil they cast you as in their story and that's perfectly fine. Embrace that… Own it! If you were looking for a sign or permission to fully be the badass you need to be, this is it! The girls that get it, get it, and those that don't won't. Fuck 'em. Put on the soundtrack that makes you feel like that GWORL, go out there, and EAT your villain eras DOWN!
Love y'all real bad, stay hydrated on these heauxs, have a happy Friday, and a great weekend!!! 😈🙃😈🙃😈
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Also, make sure you’re up to date on my novella ‘Situationships & Sippy Cups’. It is available on Kindle Vella in the Amazon store, check it out!!!